faker!
the fake hedgehog around here!
me…? ha! you’re not even good enough to be my fake!
eat those words!
so glad illumination hasnt picked up on this live action remake trend because seeing a minion rendered in photorealistic cgi might just be the one thing capable of breaking me
This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!!
This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes.
WHAT?
The thing about this? It’s in every pregnancy book I’ve read.
WHAT?????
Why is it in pregnancy books but not sex ed books?
Because the men in charge only care about the health and safety of women in so far as it enables them to have babies.
Reblogging with a link because I thought this was a legit joke. Never heard it before. Like I knew you could kill a person by inserting air into a vein but still.
WHAT THE FUCL I hate how I didn’t learn this in sex Ed AT ALL
I’m more than shocked! Please guys stay save and say it to your boyfriend or whoever!
My thoughts deveolping sad depressing backstories for my ocs:
can you even imagine being the villain chef in ratatoullie. like you’re running this restaurant and its not doing too well since the last chef, this world famous cook, died of sadness a few years back. you’re franchising the restaurant overseas and it’s not really helping your restaurant’s reputation but at least you can keep it open and make some money.
but then like, this mess of a guy shows up and he’s got a letter that says he’s the son of the previous chef and owns the business. the statue of limitations for the will, which makes you the official owner, passes in a few weeks and this guy is showing up right now, after years of you running the place. you hide this information in the hope that the deadline will pass and your life won’t be ripped to shreds by this.
and the same night he’s hired (by your staff, without your permission), a rat shows up. you have the new guy kill it because the last thing you need to deal with is a health code violation. but it doesn’t go away. You start to see it everywhere, like a ghost. in the kitchen. on the street. probably in your dreams. You see it’s shadow out of the corner of your eye, and it’s always with the new guy, like he and the rat are plotting together. it’s a symbol of all your fears and anxieties. You try to prove that you’re not crazy, but nothing comes of it. And like, just when you’re starting to accept that you are, in fact, hallucinating, you go into your office, and you see this
so like, the rat, which you now know is real, steals your sensitive documents and gets you fired from your business. you have to stand by now and watch the trash guy’s fame play out, knowing he’s pulling off some sort of willard situation. is it one rat? dozens of rats? every night you dream of rats, and every morning you wonder if hoards of them might come for you. your life is plagued by rats, and you haven’t even seen one since that day in your office.
so you stalk the rat man. maybe you can do something about it. you find out that linguini is nothing but the puppet and the rat is running the restaurant it stole from you. you call the health inspector, the only person who’s going to take a rat seriously, but even they barely listen. you even manage to trap the rat and put it in your car, but later you find your car totaled, the front completely smashed open by a gargoyle that fell off the roof of a building. the rat is gone.
you go to the restaurant. you will find the rat. you burst into the kitchen. it’s like all your nightmares burst into reality at once. there’s thousands of rats. they swarm you, bound you, gag you, and throw you into the closet. right next to the health inspector.
this is you. it’s apparent you need to rethink your life a little.
A movie told from his perspective would start with him getting tied up and tossed in the fridge by an army of rats. *record scratch* “This is me. It’ s apparent I need to rethink my life a little.” Then it goes back to Gusteua’s death and him taking over the restaurant and everything and then finally his life getting ruined by a single rat.
yall claim to be about tenderness and yearning and pining but you havent even played phoenix wright ace attorney
gummycore
americatress
would you guys like to see the greatest beanie baby poem ever written
For the record, this is runner:
Not at all what I thought it would be.
Exactly what I thought it would be.
Do Not call me a liar on my own post again!
It is a real poem! And it is magnificent.
