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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
charmanderxerneas
charmanderxerneas

So this is probably the most ridiculous au I’ve ever made

I came up with it while I was researching clusterballooning for a paper last semester.

Everything is the same except: Instead of being obsessed with archeology and ruins, Randall is obsessed with the sky and the thought of flying. Angela, Henry, Hershel, Dalston, and everyone else thinks that he’s got his head in the clouds. Then Randall gets this crazy dream to. Go flying using balloons. Like. Here i made a visual to explain

image

And he starts coming up with a plan to actually do it!! He annoys the others about it, pleading for their help because, “-I can make a harness that I can attach the balloons to, but they’ve gotta be! Really big balloons! And I’ll need help filling them up and attaching them to the harness! I can get down on my own by shooting the balloons, and I can also get a parachute, but. I need someone to watch so I don’t get lost and someone who can help me to the ground!! Pleeeeasse??? Come on, no risk no glory!” Everyone gets. Frankly annoyed and pissed off at Randall because. He’s being ridiculous. There’s no way he could actually do something like that.

One day Hershel finally gives in, “Fine!!! I’ll help you with your ridiculous cloud fantasy!!!” And so Randall gets him up at. 5 in the morning (still dark out) and drags hershy out to do this. And so they take a few hours blowing up these balloons. And the sun is rising when Randall takes off. And they actually get Randall up in the air and he starts flying!!! Hershel actually gets excited by that and is like, “!!!!RANDALL YOURE FLYING OH MY GOODNESS!!!” But then. The winds get stronger. And. They both start panicking. As Randall starts blowing away, and. He gets out of hershels sight.

Hershel panics and tells everyone what happened, and they send for a search party! But Randall never gets found. He gets assumed dead and they make a grave for him. Everyone blames hershel for the loss l ll l_, including himself. And randall is never seen again…. until the events of the masked gentleman in miracle mask.

omeruu
a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy

I’m going to save up for a new motorcycle by running a scam where I bet straight dudes at bars twenty bucks that I can get a girl’s number in under five minutes and then politely walk up her and say, “I just bet that asshole twenty bucks that I could get your number. I’ll split it with you if you pretend to laugh like I just said a good pick up line and then write a fake number on my hand.”

Like, I never understood those kind of bets in those shitty teen movies. Everybody loves being part of a scheme, man. Use your head.

whoamiamneko

If anyone ever does this to me I’ll call them out on being a con artist.

a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy

Joke’s on you, buddy. That’ll only have consequences the first, what, couple dozen times? I can take a punch.

But then eventually, I’ll have money for the bike, and whenever I get called out, I’ll just speed off, and, sure, maybe I crash and die in a gutter and the police can’t figure out why I have hundreds of fake phone numbers stuffed in my jacket and it launches a huge investigation that becomes sort of a local legend, but you know whose problem that is? Not fucking mine.

Because I’m a slutty motorcycle ghost, and who’s gonna’ stop me then? The ghost cops? Nice try. Everybody knows cops can’t become ghosts because they just go straight to hell. It’s basic math.

whoamiamneko

Moral of the story, don’t be a con artist or you will die in a horrible accident and become a lonely ghost.

a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy

First of all, don’t you ever accuse me of having morals, narrative or otherwise, ever again.

And second, where did I say I’d be lonely? I’d be a ghost on a motorcycle. That’s the sexiest thing that there is. You look me in the eyes and tell me you wouldn’t bone Ghostrider. Look me in the goddamn eyes.