【☆ｌｏ－ｆｉ ｋｏｍａｅｄａ ｂｅａｔｓ ｔｏ ｓｔｉｃｋ ｆｉｎｇｅｒｓ ｕｐ ａｎ ａｓｓ ｔｏｏ☆】
give it up for one final fingers in his ass sunday 😭👉🏼👌🏼💦
me as komaeda, @magnoliajades as sans, and idk who tumblr is but they were amazing !
My son wanted to share with me his and his sister’s secret Animal Crossing tips before bed.
“Now this is cheating,” my son started out, “my sister taught it to me though and I think you could try it too. You can change the time in the game to any time that you want so you can get more things at the shop for your house!”
He pondered for a moment, “It could be useful for other things too I think. Like if I wake up too early and the shop isn’t open yet. Then I can change the time and go shopping.”
Even though I have been a criminal time traveler in Animal Crossing since before both my kids were born, I just smiled and exclaimed, “Whoa! I’ll should do that today so I can do all the morning things in my town I missed! Thanks for telling me.”
“You’re welcome!” He beamed and he ran off to bed.
Good morning everyone last night I dreamt I was watching youtube videos & one of them looked like this
Guys we all have to reblog Fingers In His Ass Sunday shit bcus today is the last legal one. Let this be one of our final protests.
wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs
also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything
what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??
Wear a wig.
Contact lenses .
Change your accent .
Change Hand when writing .
Layer up to make you look big if your small n vice versa .
Contour the hell outta your face.
Get your car interior thoroughly washed, then purposely dirty it up again.
Also use an icicle for the weapon because it melts away
Buy a ticket to a show and tell as many people / post it on social media that u went to the show
Y'all suspect af😂
*adds 363,462 more people to list of that I will fuck never with*
Make sure you set up a solid alibi
Pay for everything in cash
Or, for those of you who’ve read Roald Dahl’s Lamb to the Slaughter, feed the murder weapon to the police
Bodies should be buried vertically, not horizontally, to avoid the appearance of a grave. If you choose to dismember the body instead of bury it whole don’t forget to take a lighter or bottle of lye to the fingertips until charred or melted away, and use bleach on every surface that may have come in contact with blood splatter.
Also, don’t fucking brag about it later Jesus wept.
all this info is good for writing
but for actual real life, no one on tumblr has enough energy to get out of bed
ain’t no body on this website is gonna murder anyone
Make friends with a pig farmer. A full grown nursing sow can eat an entire human body, bones and all, in about 6 hours.
Shit that last one is more helpful than I wanted it to be, I’ll never look at pigs the same
Reblogging for *educational* purposes :)
This post is legendary and I’m so glad I found it. I love all the advice. Except the icicle. That’s technically impossible. Use a disposable knife instead and break the handle.
use a glass knife with wooden handle for ultimate wounding. its gonna leave a severe fucking wound and u can burn the wood and melt down the glass if it doesnt shatter inside the victim.
Thomas what did i tell you about making suspiious posts?
I love learning.
IT’S ON MY DASH I REPEAT IT’S ON MY DASH.
ON MY DASH
Muuuuuurrrrrdddddeeeeerrrrrrr
gummycore
