“We’re here waiting for the green light and ohhhhh…” - Hugh Jackman
Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it”
Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect.
To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha.
On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious.
I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…
Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.
The lengths we go for music.
Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.
One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.”
And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:
[stifled giggling]
[reeeeeeally deep breath]
[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]
The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.
In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”
FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.
This is the best band post
Everyone else go home
Julius IdontgivaFucik
More like Julius Fuckit

Pyrozod’s tags for this were too hilarious not to share
I haven’t been in band for years but this made me laugh so hard
I haven’t seen this post in ages and I’m dying of laughter
I didn’t think it could get better after The Foghorn Tuba Story, but it did. It got better. Bless you, MusicTumblr.
As a percussionist I can confirm this is what literally ALL of our dynamics look like
holy crap I’m glad that I’ve never had to play this on bass
ALRIGHT. LISTEN UP.
So recently, I got calls from the phone number, (937) 353-8319. They claim to be a job service, and one of their “employees”, Carrigan, is friends with whoever the call recipient is, and that Carrigan has recommended you for this $15.00/h “job”. I also got a text message from (937) 607-1493, claiming to be Carrigan, and that they need stuff to “win a scholarship”. I do not know anyone by the name of Carrigan and I know very well that this is a very dangerous scam.
If you receive a call from a number, and they ask you if you would like a job for $15.00/h, HANG UP IMMEDIATELY. If you accept the “job” offer, and you go in for an interview, they will give you a drugged bottle of water and you will wake up somewhere you don’t want to be.
These phone calls & texts are from a human trafficking service, and if you oblige to them, you will be sold to people and you will be raped, no doubt about it. So PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT ANSWER THESE CALLS OR TEXTS. I have listened to the voicemails, and allowed my dad to do the same, and he learned that anyone offering a $15.00/h “job” is a human trafficker.
PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST THIS ALL OVER TUMBLR
Okay, I am reblogging this because it is relevant again. I got another call from a 353 number. Not the exact same number, but I know that it is a trafficker because it’s 353 just like the last one. I also want this to signal boost so PLEASE REBLOG THIS.
Why are people deleting the captions though I had to search for what the pictures meant don’t do that
a side note, because theyre very popular around the DMV, If you ever see a sign with something akin to ‘free debt erasure’ ‘15/h job’ etc and ONLY A PHONE NUMBER, ignore it. tear it down if you can, because those are well known scams and sex-trafficking baits.do not, by any means, call or respond to these messages. do not let your friends do it. do not.
THIS IS IMPORTANT AF THANK Y’ALL HOLY SHIT
Oklahoma is one of the worst states as far as human trafficking, so thank y’all so fucking much. That’s literally my life and the lives of everyone I know that y’all just saved. Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you
*FUCKING SPAMS REBLOG*
guys pls this needs more reblogs
#OneMoreVote
Net Neutrality is almost saved, it just needs one more vote from the Senate. Call your senator today to tell them to keep it.
we now interrupt this broadcasting for an important psa
trophy made of copper
source??
i saw him applying his makeup one morning
im not
FUCKING
MADE OF COPPER YOU STYROFOAM BLOCK
im sorry, hes made of tinfoil excuse me
eat my ass you fucking piece of shit
i cant bite tinfoil it might hurt my teeth :(
YOU KNOW WHAT.
IM DONE.
IM FUCKING DONE.
IM NOT DEALING WITH THIS ANYMORE!








