Oh my god you’re making me sound like an edgy teen. I’m like, not edgy at all, I’m an emotional crybaby who eats ice cream everyday wearing the same shirt I’ve been wearing for the past week.

*does a big gasp* LAAAAAAAANCE, how could YOU be one of my kidnappers???

*deeper lancier voice* Well, I needed the money thanks to you, DaaAaAaAaaaaaAaaad!!!