It’s heartbreaking that Lapis is honestly surprised that Steven would want to see her again. People sometimes complain that Lapis gets off “too easy,” that Steven is too quick to forgive her for doing the terrible things she’s done like stealing the ocean or forming Malachite.

And the thing that they miss is that Lapis has got some serious self-loathing issues. Even if Steven were inclined to list off Lapis’ flaws, there’s nothing he could tell her that she hasn’t told herself again and again ever since she took the barn.

She doesn’t think she deserves forgiveness. She doesn’t think she deserves happiness. She literally told Steven that exact thing in Alone at Sea.

A lot of her mindset is a reaction to the trauma she’s suffered. I think part of her wants to believe that she’s a horrible person, because that’s the only way her experience makes any sense. How could she have been trapped in that mirror for 5000 years if she didn’t deserve it? Is the world really that cruel? The blunt answer is yes, sometimes bad things do happen to good people, and Lapis is going to be dealing with the long term emotional damage from that for the rest of her life.