seeing the emoji ratings makes me irrationally angry and i’m going to rectify this

[mango-dolphin]

listen i’m going to fucking make amends okay? emojis are Good. they are Fun. comparing them to their siblings is so fucking cruel. they’re just trying to live! leave them alone. here’s some ratings of my favorite emojis and i’m going to make more because fuck you and shut up they’re GOOD!!!!!!!!!!

Rat Emoji Ratings (Rat-ings)

soft, realistic shading! ears perked up, shiny & alert eyes, glossy fur, wonderful tail… she’s beautiful. she looks like a model. nice and plump. i love her. i’d love to take her home and name her Marina and the Diamonds! 10/10

funky and mischievous! a little wonky, but he’s only filled with love. he’s wearing mittens. i’m personally not a fan of google’s use of gradients, especially as it overcomplicates the image, but he’s shiny and happy all the same. good mouth, good whiskers. a widdle tail. 10/10

SHARP! BOLD! DEFINED! they’re Unabashed and Unashamed!!! they’re here and they’re unafraid! only 3 colors used, and the simplicity is effective! the image reads well, even from a mile away. They’re A Rat. They Are Here. 10/10

graspers POSED and READY! she’s reaching for something, i’m sure. a beautiful, off-white coat. while the nose and ears look a little off to me, the gradient work is much, much better than google’s. samsung knows how to treat a lady right. she’s got a purpose, she’s gonna go on a night on the town with her gf and she’s reaching? for the PERFUME! not that she needs it smh. i love her tail, as inaccurate as it is. fuzzy. 10/10

oh my goOHMY FFholy hs hoH M G IOD OHLY Fu Oh my GoOH he’s so Small. fufck. Fuck. he’s so goddamn small. LOOK. HE’S SO FUCKING SMALL OH MY GOD LOOK aoghh hh hh Look. Look at this little man. he’s so fucking small. look at his widdle face, his little man hands, his beautiful ears. 10/10. holy hsit. h

scruffy, rough, and tumble! this one gets into scraps! they are a big lump of ferocity and…………. Love. they look like the protagonist of a simplistic indie game. they are a valiant warrior, covered in fuzz. you can’t even see their fucking arms. they’re Lump. simple and easy to read. 10/10

She’s A Lesbian. Apple and Samsung had a baby together and she has the best traits of both. she’s literal perfection. a subtle but appealing sheen, a brimming intelligence, a pinprick awareness. she’s beautiful. the WLW baby of a lesbians. 10/10

CHOMKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lil man have Chonky Taile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck. his face is shaped like an almond and he’s an alert fella. fuzzie tail. comnkyhky tiale……………… god he’s so fucking rotund 10/10

their tail may be crooked but they’re a rat with a purpose! soft and gentle, and yet they have depth. Edges. they’re firm and they know what they want. they’re also fat as fuck. they’re so good. look at them. look at their eye… small but knowing. they’re so damn juicy, filled with love. 10/10

a helpful lady!!! she’s also got a chonky tail, and she’s long and content. low to the ground, she’s ready to skitter over to help!!! she’s got good, little beady eyes, and lil whiskers for twitching. i’d trust her with my life. 10/10

ch.b k oh mg fOF Y OH THEY ARE SO FUCK IGNGCH oh th

OH THEY ARE SO MOTHERFUCKING CHONKY

velvet fur……. fuzzy arms………. fat. fat, fat. very fat. subtle pillow shading but they are SO FUkcn kiy gn gng  CHnykunky. look they have chin fat they are so FAT look at their EARS their eyes are so SMALL oh my GOD THey arer So FAT 10/10

a little abstract, but filled with a lot of creative ideas! round, imaginative, and all-in-all very holdable. i can also see this one as being an indie game protagonist, or perhaps a cartoon character. he’s just an enjoyable fella! maybe he and the twitter rat would be friends!!!! 10/10

baby sister of twitter’s rat!!!!!! she’s soft, sweet, and innocent. but WATCH OUT!!!!! she probably likes to skitter around and take naps!!! she deserves to be held. she is so warm and so good and i love her. i love the lineless approach, and it works extremely well. 10/10