[saiikavon]

I may rewatch Steven Universe again. I’m thinking about it again and just how…important that show was.

I think about Pink Diamond/Rose Quartz a lot, and for a lot of reasons, but I am most often struck by the tragedy she wound up being. Not because she “died,” but because it wasn’t until she sacrificed her form to become part of Steven that she managed to free herself.

Here’s one of my favorite quotes from her: “ When a Gem is made, it’s for a reason. They burst out of the ground already knowing what they’re supposed to be, and then… that’s what they are. Forever. But you, you’re supposed to change. You’re never the same even moment to moment – you’re allowed and expected to invent who you are. What an incredible power – the ability to “grow up.”

I need you to understand why I love this quote. Read it. Take it in. Understand that at its heart, it is completely false.

Yes, a Gem is made for a reason, and this is true as far as what was expected of Gems on Homeworld and the colonies. This is the rhetoric Pink has grown up hearing her entire life. But if it were an absolute truth, then the Pink Diamond that our Pearl knew would never have existed. If it were true, we wouldn’t have Garnet. If it were true, we wouldn’t have Amethyst. If it were true, Rose Quartz would not exist.

Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl all change their appearances each time they reform. Think about that. That’s them reinventing who they are. That’s them growing up. Changing.

Pink Diamond spent so long being forced into a shape she couldn’t stand, she couldn’t see herself changing. She couldn’t appreciate the changes happening around her, to the friends she made and protected.

So she released her form in the hopes that the new life she created would be able to change and grow the way she thought she, as a Gem, couldn’t.

In a lot of ways, Steven inherited Pink Diamond’s self-doubt and identity issues, and from the time he was beginning to come into his gem powers, he did not grow very much. It’s noted in “Steven’s Birthday” that he has not physically changed in a few years. As long as Steven holds onto the legacy of Rose Quartz and the conflicts her passing heaped upon him, he doesn’t actually grow or change very much at all.

But in Steven Universe Future, Steven has physically matured. What happened?

He embraced his gem.

Steven finally fulfilled what Rose wanted for him. He did the thing that she never found it in herself to do. He let go of who he was “supposed to be.” He stopped thinking that having that Gem meant he didn’t have a choice in who he was. Because the Gem had changed. And it had changed with him.

Do you understand how much this fucks me up on a regular basis??